Under the knife

image.png Sat in bed with a cup of tea. My iPad pro is so big it’s lighting up the room, it’s only 8am, but still darkish outside and the weather is crap today. I am now day 10 post op and feeling good, really good.

I had a radical mastectomy and axillary node clearance on the 12th Jan. I found out my surgical date on the 7th Jan, so as you can imagine I started to go into panic mode. John couldn’t quite work out that I wasnt panicking about the surgery, or the fact that I was going to be one titted, but that I hadn’t organised my hospital bag, found comfortable matching pyjamas yet and my slippers were too expensive to wear in hospital. Yes that’s right, I am one spoilt cow, and not only did John buy me an iPad pro for crimbo, he also got me some real ugg slippers. I know hospitals are super clean nowadays, but I am a nurse and I still kick my shoes off at the front door even now after walking about on the floors of the superhospital after an 8 hour shift. I don’t really want to be taking my new fluffy slippers there. So I just purchased a bog standard set from Matalan, grey slip ons from the men’s section for £3.50, half price in the sale. Job done.

Talking of shopping for the big day, I also purchased a set of loose pjs, I didn’t go for the button up pjs, it’s winter and most of them in the shops are fleecy type ones, hospitals are hot. So I opted for a vest type and 3/4 length bottoms, with a matching dressing gown, the summer type, Just cotton and light. I also bought a new flannel (I’ve got loads in the cupboard, but remember packing your bag for labour? Same thing right?) new toiletries, including toothbrush, oh and a paper white kindle. Which was a big rush the day before the op, but I actually never read it. I do now though.

So I had my pre op assessment on the Friday before the big day, to be honest I was in and out. I have absolutely nothing wrong with me what so ever, except Mr Cancer (Or Mrs Cancer, as its Tit related?) so that was a relief, usually we are down the hospital for hours and leaving the kids with other people at first is fun for them, but after a while it’s horrible. So we were in and out, another blood test done and home.

The weekend before the op was pretty normal, I tried to show as many people (obv not strangers) the said tit. 1.because for the females out there it gave some real facts of what breast cancer can look like and 2. Because it was coming off and it’s only had a mere 30 years in this life, I felt it needed to be seen.  One of my aunties never got to see it in the flesh before the big chop, but I already had that covered. We took a few pics on my iPhone. Oh don’t worry I’m not the kind of girl to upload on my blog or any other social media platforms.

The night before my surgery I re read the letters given to me, fretted over waking up mid op, re packed my bag and organised when I would eat dinner. We always eat between 6pm-7.30pm most nights, which is average I expect for everyone else. But I couldn’t eat anything after midnight and couldn’t drink anything after 6am. So we planned a massive dinner for about 9.30pm and I downed a pint of water before bed, this was quite a clever thing to do as this meant by 5am I was up for a massive wee, so I could then nip downstairs and have another pint.

We had to be at the hospital for 10am, the surgical list started at 11am and I was told I should be out within 2-3 hours back to the ward. I got my gown on, made sure I had the brightest knickers, mine had Elmo on and put on my surgical socks. We walked down to the theatre, I walked with my Ex manger Tracy, this made things a thousand times easier as we were just generally chatting and catching up, before I knew it my name was called and I walked into theatre. It’s very strange actually walking into the theatre room where your having your op. There is a small team getting everything ready. You hear sterile packs being ripped open and metal instruments clanging around, all going on while the anaesthetist is trying to find a vein to stick a massive grey cannula in the back of my hand.

I remember him giving me an injection and I felt really woozy, then the mask went over my face, the next minute I wake up in recovery. This wasn’t pleasant. One word. Well four words. I couldn’t stop puking.

The recovery was pretty good, overnight stay in hospital. Then home by lunchtime. By day 6 I felt completely back to normal. The kids think it’s hilarious that I’ve only got one boob, Macey my daughter said I look like half a child, half a woman. Bless her, she’s only saying what she sees. Freddie my 5 year old is still a bit cautious. He would rather not talk about any of it and just pretend it never happened. I’m doing the school run again which is lovely and hopefully I should be back to proper driving next week.

I get all the results of the tumour and the lymph node involvement on the 28th, I will keep you all updated.

For now, I’m getting used to wearing my softie in my bra (you would never know) and trying to think of a name for her, il think il let the kids decide.

Much love

Michelle x

12 thoughts on “Under the knife”

  1. So brave and love to read how things are going. Keep strong hun,you are doing amazing!!! Lots off love and hugs x x 😘💗x x


  2. Fantastic writing skills Michelle. You have such a way with words – have you ever considered journalism? Lovely to hear how upbeat you are sounding in this post. You’re such a trouper! xx


  3. Beautifully written, lovely to know how it all went. And that you were only in for 1 night. Have you seen the knitted knockers? Read about them a while ago, seemed like a great idea.
    I know this is a random question, will you stay mono-boobed or will they make you a new one after all the treatment? I’ve always wondered.
    Good to see your doing well, much love xx


  4. Your so strong and brave lady I think you should call her doris what do you think : ) xx ( ps everyone reading doris is a Wiltshire slang for lovely lady ) don’t want to offend xxx lovely way with words too doris … tips and puking stay classy xxxxx


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