#6 Chemo

Never thought I would say this but I’ve had my last chemo!! Such a weird old feeling, high one minute and unfortunately down the next.

So when I started this journey I always said to myself il take chemo in my stride. I’ve got a few chemo buddies I regularly talk to and like most women we compare notes. Trouble is their notes seemed so much better than mine! I found chemo very hard, probably because I have two youngsters to look after too (although my parents and sister have been angels caring for them day in day out when needed) I found the slog of chemo absolutely draining. So when I had my last dose I was on a complete high!

I almost skipped out of that day unit, feeling good and positive and although it is your last one, you’ve got this perception that it’s all done. I mean I’ve got radiotherapy and endocrine treatment for the next  5 years to contend with, possibly early menopause and all the other side effects of Tamoxifen. But you kind of feel done. Of course you still have to go through the motions of the side effects of chemo. For example your blood count dropping, Fatigue like no other and so this puts another 10 days at least of the ‘not being done yet’.  You feel quite confused…

So the day after chemo, the side effects slither their way in. I knew it was coming but your on such a high from the day before – the crashing is magnified more than ever. I felt down in the dumps because my body just wasn’t ready to party yet. That moet chilling in the fridge isn’t ready to be popped yet. It was all a bit depressing.

But now I am day 7 post chemo number 6, this day on the tax has always hit me hard. The fatigue is like a truck hitting you. Your mind is saying yes and your body is saying absolutely NO! Trips to Asda or physically doing the school run are still a no no, but if my body follows suit from the last rounds I should start seeing through the clouds by about Wednesday or Thursday this week.

Next week everything is changing. John is back to work, he’s had the whole chemo time off looking after me. It’s bought us so close together, he really is an angel in disguise. I think also it’s made him appreciate me more too, we both used to work full time before, because I worked shifts and would often do lates or weekends, it would seem my days off/ time off would fall when kids were at school and john was at work, so housework etc would naturally fall on me. He’s always been Good around the house, occasionally emptying the dishwasher, hoovering etc, but I don’t think he has ever cleaned the bathroom or skirting boards for example. This time off he has taken the domestic God to another level and because I haven’t been able to do it, john naturally took it on. So we’ve kind of got this silent appreciation of each other, it’s such a lovely feeling. He even purchased a dishwasher and washing machine cleaner the other day and was proud as punch about using it!!

anyway my loves, I’m clocking off for now. Going to try and get over this last hog and start smashing radiotherapy.

Enjoy the sun,

much love

Michelle x