my last blog post was about my last stage of active treatment, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and that ‘light’ everyone talks about at the end of the tunnel has been switched on. My worries have finally left me and we can move forward with our lives.
Except we can’t.
My shitty cancer has come back. I don’t even want to say ‘My’ as I don’t really want to own it. It can’t be mine anymore can it?
I finished chemo 7 weeks ago and radiotherapy around 10 days ago, this can’t be happening right?!
My story unfolds when a couple of weekends back I had some chest pain, all chest pains go to A&E, they’ve got to, to rule out any heart problems. All my heart tests came back normal but a blood test to see if you could potentially have a blood clot in the lung came back raised. An overnight stay in hospital and a CT scan of my chest revealed there was no clot. However they found an enlarged node in my lung and under my left armpit. The opposite side to my original breast cancer. We were obviously very concerned and the doctors in the medical unit didn’t want it to be left and not looked at, so I was referred back to my breast surgeon.
I had an ultrasound and mammogram of my good boob and that came back normal, however the radiologist felt 2 of my lymph nodes under my arm were large enough to take a biopsy, I got the results today.
They found grade 3 breast cancer in these nodes, we are still waiting for the hormone status to come back and to see if it’s the same cancer as I had before – or if it’s a brand new breast cancer in my good boob.
I’ve got to have an MRI of my left breast and a CT staging scan again. So my treatment plan is not quite clear cut as I would have liked.
I am totally gutted, my poor kids and family have to go through this all again. I’m scared this cancer is going to take my life and scared of what the future holds.
The scary thing is, this wouldn’t have been picked up if I didn’t have that original chest pain. For now we are going to try and carrying on as normal, I even arranged to go back to work yesterday – my start date was October 3rd!
Just gutted – totally gutted