An unwelcome visitor

my last blog post was about my last stage of active treatment, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and that ‘light’ everyone talks about at the end of the tunnel has been switched on. My worries have finally left me and we can move forward with our lives.

Except we can’t.

My shitty cancer has come back. I don’t even want to say ‘My’ as I don’t really want to own it. It can’t be mine anymore can it?

I finished chemo 7 weeks ago and radiotherapy around 10 days ago, this can’t be happening right?!

My story unfolds when a couple of weekends back I had some chest pain, all chest pains go to A&E, they’ve got to, to rule out any heart problems. All my heart tests came back normal but a blood test to see if you could potentially have a blood clot in the lung came back raised. An overnight stay in hospital and a CT scan of my chest revealed there was no clot. However they found an enlarged node in my lung and under my left armpit. The opposite side to my original breast cancer. We were obviously very concerned and the doctors in the medical unit didn’t want it to be left and not looked at, so I was referred back to my breast surgeon.

I had an ultrasound and mammogram of my good boob and that came back normal, however the radiologist felt 2 of my lymph nodes under my arm were large enough to take a biopsy, I got the results today.

They found grade 3 breast cancer in these nodes, we are still waiting for the hormone status to come back and to see if it’s the same cancer as I had before – or if it’s a brand new breast cancer in my good boob.

I’ve got to have an MRI of my left breast and a CT staging scan again. So my treatment plan is not quite clear cut as I would have liked.

I am totally gutted, my poor kids and family have to go through this all again. I’m scared this cancer is going to take my life and scared of what the future holds.

The scary thing is, this wouldn’t have been picked up if I didn’t have that original chest pain. For now we are going to try and carrying on as normal, I even arranged to go back to work yesterday – my start date was October 3rd!

Just gutted – totally gutted

8 thoughts on “An unwelcome visitor”

  1. I’m so sorry to hear cancer has returned especially as you’ve been so positive. Keep your chin up and continue with the positivity, you’ve got a great family and friends and everyone thinking of you. Xx

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  2. I am soooo sorry Michelle, but here’s hoping that you get through and out the other side as soon as possible.
    Sending huge hugs x

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  3. I had no idea what you had been going through Michelle, and I’m so sorry that this awful disease has returned to you!
    As hard as it will be, stay strong, stay positive, and kick C in the face!
    sending you positive thoughts, good luck and big hugs! Don’t give up!! Xx

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  4. So very sorry to hear this hun. Especially cruel when you had just come out the active treatment. However if there’s anyone I know who can beat this its you. Your such a positive and inspiring woman with a wonderful support networks around you. You are a fighter and that’s what you will do, when you falter your family keep you going. I hope will all my soul that you can come through this and my best positive vibes are heading your way.
    Loads of love, Jen xx

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  5. I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and your family and am very saddened that you are having to go through further treatment and heartache .
    Sending you positives thoughts and wishing you a speedy recovery. xxx

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  6. So sorry to be reading this devastating news meesh…
    You are a fighter though and, with the support of John and, your family you can beat this!!
    Hope to catch up soon.
    Thinking of you all.
    XxX

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  7. Even against all the odds you still manage to express yourself eloquently. Keep on fighting Michelle when you’re better there’s a novelist in you just waiting to be published X

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